Read It and Weep

One of the best parts about parenting is that, despite the stress and the responsibility and the messiness and the chaos, there are also many overwhelmingly wonderful moments---times that you can't predict and that come to you right when you need them, seemingly out of nowhere.

Tuesday was a brutal day with regard to my graduate work. I have been working hard across the past two months to learn statistics---that's right, to learn it, from scratch, with the help of a terrific friend, books, and web searches---so that I can run statistical analysis for my capstone project. It has been like walking blind into a crowded room---I bump into something, scream about stubbing a toe, then grope around and figure out what I've got in front of me. Each time I bump something, the picture becomes clearer, but the lights never come on, and I can't really conceptualize my territory---I can only describe the discreet items I've run across. Because of this, I have run into a common knowledge management problem---I don't know what I don't know, so I can't always ask the right questions to make heads-or-tails of my situation.

Learning this way is exhausting and incomplete. So, by Tuesday, when I discovered that the analysis that I had done was not appropriate a mere week before a draft of my paper was due, I felt overwhelmed. As it turns out, my analysis technique was much more complex than it needed to be, and I had to refocus in another direction. It was devastating. After all the late nights, the tutoring, the searching, I'm not ashamed to admit that it made me cry. I had just hit the wall, and gotten knocked out.

Unfortunately, I found this out about ten minutes before I had to pick EJ up from preschool. I had the joy of showing up at her school with big, puffy, eyes, a tear-streaked face, and that fuzzy-headed feeling that makes you feel like you are floating in an uncomfortable way. EJ's teachers looked so worried for me---I think I was moments away from them offering me a snack or some paints to make me feel better. I told them what had happened, and that I would be fine, I was just in for a long couple of weeks.

The next morning, with some fresh perspective and my wits back about me, I headed into preschool with EJ for drop-off. One of her teachers met me the hall, and told me that they had gone through stacks of stories that the kids had written across the past few months, and she thought EJ's might cheer me up. They were waiting for me in her cubby. They were just what I needed, and I teared up for the second time in two days, not because I was sad, but because I was so grateful that I have such a wonderful kid and a wonderful life, challenges and all.

Here are her tales, dictated to her teachers:

1) "Elizabeth Letter"---EJ and I turned on the television the other day, and before I could change the channel to one of her shows, she caught a clip of Elizabeth Edwards on the news. She wanted to know who the lady was, and why she looked sad. I told her that her name was Elizabeth Edwards, and she was sad because she was sick, and she was having some trouble with her family, but that EJ shouldn't worry. Apparently, she was quite insistent the next day that she needed to write a letter to Elizabeth.

Dear Elizabeth,

I hope you are safe. Sorry. I am thinking about you.

EJ

2) Halloween Redux---When I first read this, I assumed it was from this fall, as the teachers had said that the stories had been collected throughout the year. The hiccup? EJ didn't start calling us by our first names until a couple of months ago. If she really wrote this in the winter/spring, she has one heck of a memory.

Once upon a time, a little girl named EJ went trick-or-treating in her pink piggy costume. It was a beautiful night for trick-or-treating. After trick-or-treating, EJ went to Istria Cafe with Kori and Mike. She got strawberry and lemon ice cream. Then, EJ wanted to go back home.

The End.

3) Halloween Discipline---Sure, we bought her gelato after trick-or-treating, but apparently, we were big meanies when we got home. For the record, she uses the computer all the time.

One day I went trick or treating with my mommy and daddy. Then I went back home and played Wii. But my parents didn't want me to touch the computer. But I wanted to touch the gray computer. I wanted to compute on it. But when I'm four they said I can touch it. Then I wanted to play with my toys but my mom and dad said, "No, no, no!"

By: EJ

4) Birds---The kids wrote stories on a sheet of paper with a bird image, and here was EJ's take on the theme.

There were two little girl birds named Kori and EJ, and one little boy bird named Mike. There was one dog bird named Ada. They ordered a pepperoni pizza. That was good. They ate it all up for lunch. Soon it was night time and the three little birds went home to have dinner at Kathy and Ed bird's house. They had pasketti and meatballs. Mmmm, my favorite! It was all the way in Kenosha.

The End.

By: EJ

5) Easter---EJ gave another shout-out to her grandparents (Kathy and Ed) and meatballs (hurray, Italian genes!) in her account of Easter.

Easter is my favorite holiday. I had Easter dinner at Kathy and Ed's house in Kenosha. My favorite thing to eat was meatballs.

If she keeps writing, I can certainly keep writing, at least for two more weeks.