Four Years Old

Today, EJ turned four. I'd say that I can't believe that four years have gone by so quickly, but when I look at this kid of ours---this kid that attacks the world like a mini-adult---I can't believe she isn't ten. The difference between age three and age four is particularly significant: last year, potty training was still in the trenches, this year she is a pro, last year she had a few playground friends, this year she has a year of preschool under her belt and a slew of favorite friends in her life, last year, she was flipping through the alphabet and spelling her name, and this year, she is reading so well that you can hand her greeting cards and chapter books and menus and she will plow right through. She's such a joy, such a challenge, such an experience...we are very lucky.

When I think of my start as EJ's mom four years ago...the bad, bad birth, the months of lingering melancholy that never got treated appropriately as post-partum depression (but sure knocked me out), the terrible nursing struggle, the feelings of loneliness and failure and worst of all, fear, I just want to wrap that poor new mommy up and and hold her tight and say,

"Oh, my goodness, it will get so much better. You will bond with this baby---you don't think it will happen, but I promise, it really will. You will love her more than you can imagine. You will learn from her everyday. You will feel hopeful and happy and will even laugh at the hysterical process that is parenting an imaginative, expressive child. Before you know it, you will be delighting in your daughter's request for an 'all-girls, drop-off, movie birthday party' and a dinner at 'the dipping restaurant' (aka fondue). You will love this, and you will forget so much of the painful birth and first year. You won't forget it all, but you won't need to, because it will really, really be okay. You will be better than okay---you will be her mom."

Then I'd pull out the online photo album, and show that gal this:

Birth




First Birthday





Second Birthday






Third Birthday




Fourth Birthday