Betty

Here in our neighborhood, there is a little girl EJ's age who goes by the name Betty. She has been a member of my music classes, and has attended school and camp with EJ. She is a delightful kid, with dark, wavy curls, big brown eyes, and an imagination that just won't quit. Because of her striking features and her quick mind, she has always reminded me of the only other Betty I have ever known and loved, my dad's older sister, my aunt.

Presently, another mom in our music class is expecting a baby in a few weeks, and this little one will also go by Betty. We sometimes sing hello to "Betty in the belly," and I think about my aunt a little more.

Finally, this quarter in Music Together, the Tambourine Collection features one of my favorite songs to play with, "Betty Martin." When I first taught Tambourine three years ago, and was beginning to learn how to make music fun for kids and teach them well, I also thought of my aunt during this song. A lifelong teacher like so many of my aunts and uncles, I remember her stories about her school, the kids she taught (gym, to be exact), and her big personality. Furthering my thoughts of her at the time was the fact that EJ, all of a year and some change in age, wore a beautiful sweater very often that spring that Aunt Betty had knit for her. Our kiddo has never been a fan of coats, but wow, she loved that sweater.

Today, a few moments before I left the house to teach my first session of music for the quarter, and to do "Betty Martin" with both families who have Bettys in them, I got the call from my mom and dad that my Aunt Betty, who had battled cancer (a kind that can linger for years and does not remiss), passed away peacefully this morning surrounded by my uncle, cousins and her sister. I didn't really have time to take it in, as I was rushing to leave, but I couldn't help but think of her throughout the two hours I was teaching. I thought of her toughness, of how she would probably say, "well, kiddo, you have to go to work, you'll be fine, I love ya." I didn't even cry, although I must admit, I almost lost it when I asked the families what we should sing hello to, and one mother said, "Life!" She didn't know how right she was.

When we sang "Betty Martin"---both times---I fixed myself on a grade-school memory of trick-or-treating with my dad, my brothers, my cousin, and Aunt Betty. She and my cousin, a girl only 11 months older than me and in my mind, cooler than cool, had driven down from their home in Clintonville to trick-or-treat with us. Aunt Betty brought with her a cheerleading outfit from the school where she worked, which just happened to be orange and black, their school colors. I wore that outfit with complete glee as my costume---it was fantastic. Singing, "Hey, Betty Martin, tiptoe, tiptoe...Hey, Betty Martin, tiptoe fine..." I imagined us going from house to house in the darkness sneaking up to doors for treats, and I remember how Aunt Betty and my dad were totally game to go to as many houses as we could hit---it was a blast. How could I not smile during that song with that in my mind?

Of all my dad's siblings, Aunt Betty reminded me the most of my grandmother, her mom. In so many ways, I imagine Aunt Betty's life and successes seemed to realize what Nana could have been, had she had the benefit of a real education, and not been married off in the old-world style (despite being in America) at age 14. They were both smart, they were both bold, and they were both very kind and very concerned about others.

Now they are together again, and I'm sure it is quite a reunion. Goodbye, Aunt Betty. Thanks for all of your love and kindness. I keep it with me, and I think of you all the time.